Love Twice Tossed

We had been up, down and sideways with lonely nights and solitary days. We had seen total darkness dispensed from our fights. Our heads began believing our wrongs could not discover our rights so we departed from all shared disappointments and delights. For years we were not together and, seemingly, separated forever, but time apart grew colors other than blue, colors of belonging together; colors so bright in shade they were bound to enhance the couple we made. With smiles unafraid, we walked our recommitted love out of the shade. Now, tufts of grass grow that we excitedly planted together, as does a small tree we once fought to protect from weather. Our jewelry lays in the same box; our pink and blue brushes touch; knick-knacks and memorabilia are displayed that reflect both of us; there are wall pictures I crafted that you framed and fastened; in each room are rugs we tugged and wallpaper we laid, plus shelving we made; your towel hangs right by mine and our dirty clothes lay entwined; photo albums are full of memories in mass, as is our wine corks' stash; the fish you caught, and I had mounted, sits on our mantel, proudly flaunted; by our shared sink is your razor I use, and my hair gel, you always refuse; and, our beloved music is stacked, tastes of mine and yours, back-to-back. All visible joys were once a plus, but lately they darken and confuse us. Despite our best attempts, a sense of separation grew and would not relent. All of our loving touches and all of our sincere tries eventually led us to standing under foreign skies where neither feels known and both sense they are actually alone. Though not on purpose, seems we had merely lived on love's surface, never going beneath the residence-mirage where identity issues waited to be solved. We now live inside walls we painted, hiding hearts we tainted. I listen to your words, hold you close, stare into your eyes, feel your warm skin and still do not know where you begin. My every emotion is timid, clumsy, shaded and compromised. When quiet is still and I’m alone, I consider that soon I’ll be on my own and I moan for an easing of our shared pain and inevitable heart strain. Soon we must both face who we really are and which sincerity we hang on which authentic star. I desire that communication between our emotions be spoken plain, but know that’s impossible for un-companions whose hoped for love fantasy drained. I can only pray you will forego any need of blame and that on some distant someday, our hearts will feel free to call the other's name.