Love Tortures

Your increments of apathy sting every surface of me
I am rattled by your absence 
Fighting insanity 
I have been left here before...
In this chamber alone
The door is wide open
As I thrash in the wilds of my soul
My feet, they are bound--
By your power, they are tied ever tight
My hands clench my chest

I stare now terrified at that open door
Only ghost breath behind it
Darkness beyond it
Perhaps upon leaving,
The tears will remain
Though now--right now--
I welcome how they burn on my cheeks
I want to enter and wait for you on the other side
In vain...

I have almost convinced myself--now--
That the adorations once felt
As unified beings--never existed
Only unreliable memories remain
In exhales of grinning demons
Love cannot be real unless it lasts or ends!
Promises are nothing
Till they are fulfilled or broken
But these tears--
They are the truth I have been seeking 
And they are cleaner than the threshold of your silence
Heavier than the devastation that I suck
I sip oceans of it
I sputter agony!

No--I do not fabricate my sufferings
Coating my existence with ornamental whines
I do not exaggerate 
When I say I am dying here
With your love
With your promises
They will all pass 
Not even our past can hear me now
Much less your heart
As I writhe away in wealthy woe

What is this I need--
Yes I need words as I fade
Breathing no more than a thought
Rejection raging
Love Tortures 
And silence prevails...
I will let you go
Faster than you left me 
And see---I am tied still to the feet
But my arms are always open

This I beg of you:
Give me words,
And shut the door!

July 31, 2017
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

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Bordner Avatar
September 28, 2017 at 6:35 PM
The struggle of a strained heart, simmering in hot spirit, for confirmation, or closure, desperate to know why love tortures with a kiss...this poem is very beautiful in it's love candor Poetess. These lines are most profound to me, "Love cannot be real unless it lasts or ends...Promises are nothing until they are broken or fulfilled..." J.A.B.
Breidenthal Avatar
September 29, 2017 at 8:48 PM
You're definitely on point here for this poem Justin, and those verses are the heart of it. <3 Thanks for reading this one. I had particular purposes for each section. The open door represents the unknown, represents opportunity, hope. And in some ways unresolved feelings and issues. The closed door is what is longed for-- closure, and certainty. The darkness in the door represents the absence of love, but also represents the possibility of something still lingering there. <3~Laura
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