Love As Tragedy, Part Ii

...I couldn’t help but thinking back to,”For better of for worse.” The more I thought about it now the more it struck me as perverse. I had always looked at my wife with a love unconditional, yet she only would return it if my bank account was full. It was as if some switch was thrown and all around me I did see the truth that most of my close friends had marriages based on money. Lawyer friend Bob, who’d been let go, was being divorced by his wife, dentist friend Rick forever buying jewelry to get some love at night. Then there was John the sax-player, who always had great one night stands, but no woman would stay with him, you didn’t make much in jazz bands. They there was Chip who lived next door, with a wife that had not a care, but joked,”I’d never leave you dear, unless I find a millionaire.” I do not doubt that they like us, but it doesn’t seem like that’s enough, it seems there’s always conditions that are placed upon their love. Maybe that’s just how they’re wired, like men drawn to fertility, they need resources to love us, which strikes me as a tragedy. When growing up we were all told that there was one for us out there, one who would see what is inside and about this forever care. Coldy, I see it makes some sense, attraction to those who provide, evolution cares not for love, it only cares that we survive. And even knowing what I know, it’s not like I’ll seek a divorce, men generally do not fare well inside our biased family courts. I’d just end up losing my stuff, child support, alimony, could never stand losing my kids, having them taken from me. I just wish someone had told me the truth about all of these things, back when I was a younger man, back before I gave the ring. Maybe this is why they hide this, otherwise who’d give it a go? The only thing I’ll say for sure is that both of my sons will know.