With nothing new in my head, I've scoured my slush pile.
Found this...
Thought it might be worth a share..,
Oh boy, she was gorgeous and I made mention of bed She said she really liked me but she won’t until we’re wed She often said there’s stuff that really ought to be discussed But I could only think of getting hitched to quench my lust We did it, we were spouses, and our first dance was real close I thought that she would realise who wanted who the most We left our guests to party and I hoped I would impress And once we were alone I ripped apart her wedding dress And that was when I wished that we had dallied before marriage For there and then I found ‘her’ quite extensive undercarriage ‘She’ said, “Why don’t you try it out, I’m sure we will be fine.” I said, “Why would I play with yours… when I could play with mine?” Well, ‘she’ looked shocked and what she said caused all my toes to curl ‘She’ looked at me and muttered, “Oh! I thought you were a girl.” I said, “Are you quite bonkers for you’re talking really weird, I’m stood here and I’ve got a most extensive ginger beard!” ‘She’ sauntered to the bed and threw me down upon my back And said, “I’ve got a gift for you and it is never slack.” ‘She’ nipped into the bathroom saying, “You can be the wife.” ‘She’ came back with a sexy smile… and a massive knife!
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