Eve Winfield Poet Free verse

Lost

I’m lost in my head
I don’t know where to begin 
I know I need closure
But I don’t know from what
And I have no clue where to begin
I’m running out of new things to try
Should I go back and repeat things I used to enjoy?
Things I now despise for letting me down
Should I try these old things as if they were never apart of my life
Letting them engulf me anew
There’s so many things that I can’t bear to do
There’s so many things I miss too
I miss the feeling of picking my first
Remembering the soul it had when I played
I miss being young and being so confident
Now I’m scared of any note not perfected
Any tempo I messed up 
Anything I know I could lose
I’m scared of new things
I’m scared of the old
What is there left for me to do?
I have a yearning to try
To try new things..
To pick up the old...
And realize that it won’t be the same
I can’t recreate feelings
I need to make new ones
Hell...
Even variations will do..

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Jan Terry January 4, 2020 at 6:21 PM Hello Eve. Are you still writing your deep and thoughtful poetry? I like this one. It seems to be about the fear of growing and trying new things. Maybe the fear of failure. I believe living brings growth in all kinds of things: not only maturity but interests, as well. We can fall back on what we once enjoyed but there's excitement in experiencing what is new to us. It is an important part of living and growing. Hope you continue to grow through your poetry. You are very good at it. Hugs. Jan