Losing Myself

Feeling lost confused
Void unsatisfied
What is my purpose here
Why do i have a lot of fear
Anxiety
Eating for no reason

Trying to fill a void of
unprecedented depth
My biggest fear is losing
myself to the darkness
inside of me
Feel like a plastic bag, drifting
through the wind
Wanting to start again


What is my purpose here
Sometimes the pain is too great
I just think to myself im better off dead
silenced by death of my sorrows
But each time i put a gun to my head
Your image appears in front of me

I hate you because i love you
But what can i do
Im powerless to the elements
Crumbling like the walls of Jericho
But nobody can hear me, im sixfeet under
Where is my super man i wonder
Why do i have to suffer
For the mistakes of others
The sins of our Fathers

Im short circuiting 
Going off the ramps
Wish life came with a GPS
Stranded
Planted in a desert
I thirst for hope , love,life and happiness
Lord is there an end to the madness
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

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Vinson Avatar
November 30, 2016 at 11:51 AM
Hi Rachael. Excellent poem. And yes - sometimes it is just that way.
Capitano Avatar
November 23, 2016 at 7:21 AM
We all suffer Rachael with thoughts of unworthiness, you are not mad nor alone. Your pain is palpable; "I hate you because I love you", I know this position well. Namaste.
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