Losing Grip

Future held such initial promise But shallow dreams disintegrated Coalescing into shallower reality Despite my youth, pain cripples me to geriatric apathy General interest long gone, death has become the single concern A welcome embrace, a welcome friend Tardiness is expected, as well as encouraged Release me from these eternally shrinking walls Allow the peons to continue their superficial pursuits Never meshing well into the fold, I yearn simply for permanent isolation There is not enough joy to justify the agony that life forever guarantees me Nihilism and anger, desires for maniacal retribution, the only feelings I've ever known Clouded over now by perpetual physical torment, my formerly hollow shell continues to exist without capacity for optimism Yet without hate, there seems nothing left Shall I forever be adrift?