Long Ago Lagger

LONG AGO LAGGER I slipped in through the back door It was the middle of the night I didn't want them seeing me My demeanor just wasn't right I went out to have some fun It got in a bit late, didn't call Didn't quite make it to the bathroom I couldn't let them see the mess in the hall I’m sorry hon, you’ll have to take her My head was pounding out of my skull You explained to me your concern My reaction was very cold and dull I didn't have a problem I just liked being with friends My days were long and hard I just craved a drink at days end Before long I got out of hand One night ran into the next My days grew empty At last my mind was perplex I wondered if I deserved to live I started mixing drinks and pills Thinking that would solve my issues However it extended my many ills My daughter took care of me The months I laid in my bed Getting herself ready for school Worried that upon her return I’d be dead I had to stop, I had to wake up! Something dark had captured my soul Had God given up on me? My transformation resembled a mole My spirit became incomplete The inside of me went numb and cold My pain level rose to its highest peak My age was young, but I was old I had lost myself in some pity A party I threw for dear ole me It turned on me and became depression Being oblivious to truth, I couldn't see Then one day I ran out of pills The withdraws alone were a curse For four days I laid in agony and sweat Praying that things would not get worse I rolled off the bed onto the floor Screaming in agony, crying in pain Never in my life had I been so scared Fighting for my life was such a drain With tight fists clinched, I yelled out To God I prayed for one more shot Within moments my aching stopped I believed right then forgiveness was sought The next three days were amazing No longer in that valley so low I was sober, as well high on that mountain However, there was still much for me to know I followed my heart and stood on faith And let Jesus show me the way to go My husband and daughter standing by me Supporting my fight and helping me grow It’s been many years since then Now my actions show abundant control Family is most important in my life Together we worked to make me whole. 01-06-15 To my husband Brent and our daughter Hannah Thank you for loving me and sticking like glue, cause you Know I’d fall apart if it wasn't for you two. I love you both!