Locusts in the Alley


In the old graveled alley, overgrown with weeds,
at footfall, locusts sprang and leaped,
triggering a riot.
But soon their swelling motion
subsided like fried popcorn on a skillet.

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Line Gauthier

Date: 3/11/2025 7:12:00 AM

I wish you would consider using the present tense for your poem. It's delightful. In the old graveled alley, overgrown with weeds, at footfall, locusts spring and leap, triggering a riot. But soon their swelling motion subsides like fried popcorn on a skillet.

Valsa George
Date: 3/11/2025 10:11:00 PM

Thanks for your suggestion, dear poet Line Gauthier. It's welcome proposition. Thanks also for the placement given.

Joe Maverick

Date: 3/8/2025 6:07:00 AM

They are quite dark insects Valsa.' And so destructive..A powerful poem here.'

Jennifer Proxenos

Date: 3/6/2025 11:21:00 AM

Dear friend Valsa, an ingenious comparison and one that will reach the winning post. HOPE YOU STILL LIKE ME A LITTLE, KNOW THAT OUR FRIENDSHIP IS FAST AND NOT BRITTLE, I HAVE BEEN MORE OFF THAN ON SOUP, JUST TO KEEP YOU IN THE LOOP, HAVE NOW HAD MY CATARACTS DONE, SEE THE WORLD BRIGHTER AND FAR MORE FUN. Love you Valsa, Hugs, blessings, Jennifer.

Tom Woody

Date: 3/6/2025 6:17:00 AM

Ha! Brilliant. Who would think of comparing locusts to popcorn? I'm sure she'll love this one Valsa

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 3/6/2025 3:19:00 AM

Do you like locusts in Asia? Well composed verse. We have few locusts in Malta.

Tom Cunningham

Date: 3/6/2025 2:12:00 AM

They look menacing Valsa, hope they stay that size lol. Tom

Ink Empress

Date: 3/6/2025 1:03:00 AM

Dear sweet valsa, a very creative and unique write this is, how youv written phrases such as "subsided like fried popcorn on a skillet." Is so clever! Great six lines! Very well articulated! Best wishes for the contest. Sending you light always