Living With Walls

I live with four walls around me, they tell me things about myself They are like a child with a knife, taking stabs at me as if my life were a game I'm unwanted, hideous, unloved, like a song on replay in my head The singers are my walls, couldn't lie so I believe them Everyone believes in something, no matter how hopeless They say I'm worthless, I'm like a dog who forget how to wag its tail That everytime I breath I'm stealing air, that if I cared about anyone I should just give up My walls are always screaming at me, never a moment of silence Every step I take they load a new shot, I'm bleeding but no one can see I can only scream on the inside, to show pain is weakness I try to explain that what they say hurts too much They don't understand, I deserve this and shouldn't complain At least they talk to me, silence is a much worse kind of torture Now they say to take the pretty knife on the counter, to go to the bathroom with it Why would I need that, in the bathroom of all places They tell me to write what I have always wanted on my arm, but that will hurt They say only for a minute, then everything will stop hurting Forever Could it be true, no more pain ever?? If I do this then I will break away from my wicked walls, the walls that make every day a battle that I'm losing Then I think there must be something about me worth saving, something about me that someone can love Thats when a do something I know I shouldn't, as my walls cheer me on I turn an look in the bathroon mirror, thats when I see the self centered, worthless, horrible person my walls were telling me about What was I thinking, how could anyone love that thing I see there Staring back at me, reminding me that my walls always speak the truth I pick up the knife, but a little voice says no I look all around for the voice That would want to save a thing like me, it must be blind Then I hear it again, its a boy He tells me I'm beautiful, he says I'm loved and I can't go I have to stay for him, he will love me forever I try to go to him, but my walls wouldn't let me go that easy They chant he's a liar, that no one can love a heartless shrew like me They beat me down, until thinking about moving hurts But they don't know I'm my own savour I pick myself back up, I tell them to leave and they do Just like everyone I love does