Living Lie

what do u do when you're living a lie and no matter how fast you run or where you go there's no place to hide as you try to survive pain like being burned alive from the inside they say after a while you become what you pretend to be but that is a false statement for me i pretended to be unbreakable but i'm broken by the memories i see i'll never be free and i dont even know how i started living a lie hell who can play mind games better than i most people struggle in mind games and i dont even try yeah im a prick im a dick i make people sick both physically and mentally turning people suicidal is an easy trick look there i go again why do i always commit the same damn sin i guess its because its been used on me by a girl i weigh a 10 and i pretend i dont care but i do its just life isn't fair and my views and opinions count nowhere i'm so out of place its like i'm drowning in air where do i belong why are all my beliefs wrong why did i hide for so long why is it all comming out now while i'm stressed out because i don't know how i'm gonna complete this task im assaigned true friendship is hard to find