Living in it

I live in delusion, I live in fear, I Don't let anyone too close, don't let anyone near I keep my eyes open and don't let my guard down I'll be floating and in the next blink I'll still drown I live in disbelief, I live in denial I'm not depressed, I'm not suicidal I'll Gaslight myself, I'll say that I'm fine Any hint of sanity I'll still decline I live in anger, I live in rage I'll write and draw, I'll tear the page I won't be restrained, I'll scream and shout I'll tear every nerve to let the demons out I live in remorse, I live in regret I try to move on, I try to forget I want to take the next step, the next chapter I want to read But the wounds of the past continue to bleed I live in suffering, I live in pain Through myself, blood I make rain I shed tears, I forever mourn The book of my life is shredded and torn.