Little Things

She wonders about me so pitifully misinformed But I'd rather she despise me than let her know the truth A crazy decision; doesn't make sense and I wonder what she thinks I'm doing Can't even explain it to myself Consequences, I'm missing so much of so little Meaningless glances, mindless chatter Turns to gossip, I listen intently and don't care about these people Laughably solemn declarations of superiority Such a modest arrogance I must confess; somehow it's worth the struggle to bump into her Wish she could see how she looks when she's sleeping Sheets clutched over breath, a contented sigh Then she could understand why I watch her, take in every element of her I like the tiny jumpers over old school shirts Somewhere underneath she's still the same The only girl I ever fell for And when I try to get up, trip, stumble I just keep falling Bows and bracelets, no-one else exists Such a girl as distinctive as this She fills all my sketchbooks, notepads, journals I can read her anytime And then when she walks, puts out her arms for me, happily shuffles Little things, not particularly attractive There's not a part of her I could condemn But forget it all. I don't see her anymore. Can't talk anymore. And all the world is watching this fail; they all know. Not one lets her in. If she can't see, can't feel, can't sense it Maybe that's supposed to be for the best Or so I'm convincing myself. You have friends, family, money. You've got everything going for you. So I'm happier than anyone Wouldn't make sense any other way And of course I want for nothing more Days spent with kindly faces, good intentions, making memories Hope she's jealous of this perfect life She has no place in. If I wasn't laughing I'd be crying.