Lingering Embers of an Abandoned Campsite

I'm drawing the sun on an empty ceiling But I still bring the clouds in my own way You wanted a goddamn college essay But there was nothing else to say She's the tortured soul in all of us Stare with sympathy until your eyes begin to rust Carve a smile into unsuspecting jaws For drops of solidarity that we'll take as a flood No one had to say I was too hard to love But a look of disappointment would still reflect a glimpse of recollection And I contemplate your abnegation When the only thing you’ve ever worshiped Was a fantasy bible in an elysium manifestation I've been romanticizing the exit strategy as it masquerades around me Shred my patience like a picture of you in a past existence As I frown and stand there with my tail between my legs My atoms searching violently for the words that escape me (I guess it really was a prison sentence) Cross your fingers like I meant something to you While I try to amend this My pulse will search unwaveringly for the beauty that escapes me (I guess it really was a prison sentence) I have so much to lose and such little time I have bravery wrapped around my neck and self worth ready to tie the knot; Closer than our fate ever was Oh I “not,” just in other ways But I still hear you crackling from the fire behind my eyelids But I'm done being burned So my back is forced to turn And please don't haunt me if you die from this I've had bigger “calm before the storm”s than a town before an apocalypse I have integrity loading the bullets and s-to-give ready to pull the trigger And you just defaulted to collateral damage You can read my description but proceed with caution My confidence is my favorite blade and I'm ready to sharpen Who else is gonna hold your hand as you walk through fiery coals That you keep lighting? I’ve been romanticizing the struggle more than I'm intending A crime of passion but it was just too little too late Your dripping rose petals off your knife but it's already surpassed the flood gates Every new strike of the hour hand sends a chill up my spine I have so much to lose and such little time Am I shouting now or am I just talking? Are you worried about my decay now that the flies are swarming? Are they still your lies if I’m the one harboring? Am I shouting now or am I just talking? I’m recovered from my restoration; Your dependance is just now starting A writer picturing a painter sketching a drawer painting a blank Should I also turn my back when abandonment sinks its teeth in you? It’s taking every drop and turning them into floods And you should have known, Dracula’s running the blood bank