Limited Peripheral Vision

It’s a therapeutic journey I didn’t wanna take right now The shoe dropped And now it's time to pull the knife out of my throat And hear me scream for sympathy The shoe dropped And it created a ripple in time and space So you can be here only when you wanna be And I don't buy it, I never did You're not reserved, A restaurant table is You just don't care to learn about me or engage like I deserve And now it's time to pull the plug Unless you're not brave enough to end this It's about the time To self incriminate for a lower sentence But are you prepared to admit that you're broken in order to mend things? Or will you shoot past skin and watch it burn the best part of me? I couldn't get out of bed My alarms a ticking time bomb aimed to make me lose my mind instead My life meter is blinking But I was too busy playing dead to pacify And I was too busy crying to see myself in your eyes Through a watery blur I saw a decades worth of let downs And a hundred promises you were prepared to break like glass at a jewish wedding Now I’m welded beneath this bedding Where you left me weak, weary, and waist deep In my fire truck sheets Don't threaten me with a lack of rest! Like I needed another reason to undress Hanging my head low, Imitating the sly seduction of a rope While the truth serum beckons me to confess, Like I needed another reason to undress But how is this all in my head when I can feel you on my finger tips? Oh no I’ve lost any reason to find you Oh no I’ve lost a good reason to go find you You told me you’re not strong enough to fight this You’re not a lightbulb Find the energy to handle it And then we’ll get back to this Go ahead and worship your pride Before I eat mine for the last time Oh no I’ve lost any reason to find you Oh no I’ve lost a genuine reason to reach out to you To anyone else, These are flashing alarms pointing to the nearest exit But for me, It’s only validation for a poisoned chalice infatuation But am I just a fool for reliving it, knowing what it really is? But how could this all be in my head If I can feel you on my finger tips?