Light Verse and Nonsense Verse Iii

LIGHT VERSE AND NONSENSE VERSE III The Humpback by Michael R. Burch The humpback is a gullet equipped with snarky fins. It has a winning smile: and when it SMILES, it wins as miles and miles of herring excite its fearsome grins. So beware, unwary whalers, lest you drown, sans feet and shins! Door Mouse by Michael R. Burch I’m sure it’s not good for my heart— the way it will jump-start when the mouse scoots the floor (I try to kill it with the door, never fast enough, or fling a haphazard shoe... always too slow too) in the strangest zig-zaggedy fashion absurdly inconvenient for mashin’, till our hearts, each maniacally revvin’, make us both early candidates for heaven. Ding Dong... by Michael R. Burch for Fliss An impertinent bit of sunlight defeated a goddess, NIGHT. Hooray!, cried the clover, Her reign is over! But she certainly gave us a fright! Be very careful what you pray for! by Michael R. Burch Now that his T’s been depleted the Saint is upset, feeling cheated. His once-fiery lust? Just a chemical bust: no “devil” cast out or defeated. The Flu Fly Flew by Michael R. Burch A fly with the flu foully flew up my nose—thought I’d die—had to sue! Was the small villain fined? An abrupt judge declined my case, since I’d “failed to achoo!” Hell-Bound Hounds by Michael R. Burch We have five dogs and every one’s a sinner! I swear it’s true—they’ll steal each other’s dinner! They’ll hump before they’re married. That’s unlawful! They’ll even screw in public. Eek, so awful! And when it’s time for treats (don’t gasp!), they’ll beg! They have no pride! They’ll even hump your leg! Our oldest Yorkie murdered dear, sweet Olive, our helpless hamster! None will go to college or work to pay their room and board, or vets! When the Devil says, “Pee here!” they all yip, “Let’s!” And yet they’re sweet and loyal, so I doubt the Lord will dump them in hell’s dark redoubt... which means there’s hope for you, perhaps for me. But as for cats? I say, “Best wait and see.” Menu Venue by Michael R. Burch At the passing of the shark the dolphins cried Hark!; cute cuttlefish sighed, Gee there will be a serener sea to its utmost periphery!; the dogfish barked, so joyously!; pink porpoises piped Whee! excitedly, delightedly. But... Will there be as much glee when there’s no you and me? Anti-Vegan Manifesto by Michael R. Burch Let us avoid lettuce, sincerely, and also celery! Keywords/Tags: light verse, nonsense verse, humor, humorous verse, fun