Lifeboat the Atheist's Cloak

Part 8 The Atheist awoke to find himself still in the boat With his dream lost to the heat of the Sun. And quickly took note, 'Peg Leg' had stolen his cloak And what was left of a small bottle of rum. The Atheist was bereft, "I'm the victim of theft And I will not succumb to be somebody's fool." So considering their state, with the time they had left, The Captain checked his book on Maritime rules. Considering the dire nature of a possible crime, The Captain thought it best to proceed... "We should analysis the defendant's clear state of mind And whether he should be charged for the fraudulent deed." The analysis was the purview of the Doctor on board As he set about to uncover the facts. "I will ask crucial questions to seek and explore Whether 'Peg Leg' had any sense of his act." "Tell me about your family?" the Doctor inquired, "We're they loving, helpful and true?" 'Peg Leg' looked nervous and began to perspire As a snicker arose from the rest of the crew. "Peg Leg' sighed, "My Mother was a whimsical yearn And my father... the stroke of a pen. And this is important, you will be happy to learn, With lived under the guise of a questionable hen." "We spent most of our time standing in line Waiting for others to do as they please. And if fortune was kind, we were hoping to find, A small serving of pathos and cheese." "I had a sister," he said. "Who read Engels and Marx, Who gave voice to the issues at hand. She would speak in the park... but failed to spark Any seminal interest or local demand." "I had a brother named Jack who was horribly attacked And given early release which a Doctor endorsed. But he couldn't have been too frail, on leaving the jail, He stole away on the Warden's best horse." "I lowered myself to take a government job Where I added numbers from rows A to B. And the boredom was such, my heart took to throb For a more exciting life on the sea." The Doctor wondered aloud if a menacing crowd of 'neer do wells' had led the sailor astray. "Have you been prone to consort with a disagreeable sort And their affinity for wretched display?" "I'm happy to say, I spend most of my days Among those who are gracious and warm. But I don't have to pretend because most of my friends Are the pillars of societal norms." "I go to Church every Sunday, or is it on Mondays? I go so often it's hard to be sure. I put away my earthly desires to sing in the choir And on Tuesdays gave alms to the poor." "On Wednesday, I did all that I could... to be honest and good And entertained the blind with the stories I've read. On Thursdays when others are doing less than they should, I visited the elderly who were confined to their beds." "On Fridays, I am engaged with the orphans at play Beneath the shade of a luburnum tree. And at the end of the week, I would lovingly seek To take my parent's for biscuits and tea." "So as to this crime, you will audaciously find My character is beyond any reproach. And as my crew mates will attest, I am simply the best But I am not one to bluster and gloat." Some people are sorry when they make up a story And with the facts he was footloose and free. But any good 'Copper' would have deemed this a 'whopper,' As the crew laughed and giggled with glee. The Captain spoke up. "I've heard more than enough. Peg Leg's bearing is ample and prime. But as stated before, The Captain was bored And saw a trial as a good waste of their time. *Next:The Trial of Peg leg *For those interested. I will be posting my cartoon Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage. A new one will appear every second day or so.