Lifeboat Peg Leg's Trial
A trial was formed with the Captain as judge
With the good Doctor to frame the debate.
While the Dancer was pressed to the Atheist's grudge
And the crew would determine his fate.
So as part of the plan, the crew raised their hands
And swore to be impartial and true.
But deep in their minds, they were likely to find,
'Peg Leg' would pass the review.
The Captain announced, "Peg Leg,' rise to your feet.
Are you ready to enter a plea?"
"I am steadfast and true and had nothing to do
With the these vile charges brought against me."
The Captain asked the Dancer to no longer delay
And quickly get to the facts, if able.
To question 'Peg Leg' on the events of the day
And if anyone would back up his fable.
The Dancer began, "To the Court I intend
To show 'Peg Leg' had an abundance of time.
And with the victim asleep, he crept like a thief,
Where with malice, committed the crime."
"When we were in port, you were a troublesome sort
And if you are innocent like others have said.
Please give a report to the rest of the Court
And tell us what you were doing instead?"
"My good mates and I," with a wink and a nod.
"Were busy pondering the meaning of life.
'Black Stool' proposed... we are children of God
While 'Dead Man' thought better of strife."
"Dead Man' pointed out in a tremulous tone
That our suffering was meaningless at best.
And saw no apparent reason to try and disown,
Our lives were not much of a test."
"Black Stool' took umbrage with this point of view
And thought good deeds were better than lies.
That our soul would rise up and journey anew
The moment one of us dies."
"We than discussed Schrodinger's box
And 'Six Fingered' thought it wise to take care.
That by stretching our minds, with the passage of time,
We would find the cat was still there."
"We discussed quantum mechanics and the science itself
And whether string theory was likely and true.
"Deep Sea' thought it baloney and the Higgs particle phoney,
While it was supported by the rest of the crew."
"Sweet Limey' was perturbed on what he had heard,
Where Jack 'The Ripper' was no longer thought real
But seaman 'Crunch' reported and loudly exhorted,
Harold Shipman was a much bigger deal."
"As you can see, I was most happy to be
Engrossed with my mates in lively debate.
So given the fact, I was not caught in the act,
The Court should find me guiltless and straight."
The Dancer shook her head at what had been said
And the good Doctor rose to end the defense.
"My client was wronged and it shouldn't take long
To do away with this minor offense."
The Atheist was distressed as he loudly expressed,
"The Man is clearly wearing my cloak.
He is as guilty as sin and I have to protest,
This trial is no more than a joke."
The Captain was offended and quickly recommended
To the jury in a legal report.
"If the Man continues to whine, I will levy a fine
For his intent to impinge on this Court."
The Captain turned to the jury who had a quizzical look,
Trying to decide on the evidence heard.
"How say you to these charges on the nautical books?
Is he guilty or free as a bird."
"Innocent on all counts," The crew happily shouted
As the Atheist's case was clearly in vain.
Except for the Hippo who assiduously doubted,
So cast a single vote to abstain.
*Next" The End
*For those interested. I will be posting my cartoon 'Bob's your Uncle' on my homepage. A new one will appear every second day or so.
Copyright © David McHattie | Year Posted 2020
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