Life without Him

This message is someone’s story and from observing their story, it inspired me to write about it. Hopefully this can help someone else who may be going through or in a toxic relationship. Imagine - Being with a person and experiencing this. The level of toxicity, love, sex and lies, pain, hurt, tears, abuse, disrespect, smiles, fights, disappointments, rejection, laughter, disgust, the broken tv’s, phones, Mac book, furniture, bruises, suicidal thoughts, black eyes, abortions, evictions, 911 calls, restraining orders, busted cars, flat tires, tracking devices, stalking, pull ups and pop ups, arrest, on sight fights, jail, warrants, court dates… when is enough enough? Being friends with someone since teens and now in their late 20’s, to see your friend go through this over and over and over can take an emotional toll on you. As a friend, this can become draining on you because you have now leveled up, your career, journey, growth and path has changed. You are thriving, prospering and elevating. And because you see so much potential and you want so much better for your friend that it’s hurting you to see after all these years of abuse, she literally can’t, or should I say, won’t let go. To see someone never wanting to leave, give it up, let it go, move on, walk away, or even change, makes one wonder, is it a condition within the mind, low self esteem, lack of everything, meaning, lack of love, lack of respect, lack of self worth… What is the NEED to be loved by THIS man, I just cannot fathom. How about the love you have for him, you give that same love to yourself. It’s when the unconditional love becomes conditional. But the question is, is it love, or is it an obsession? As her friend, you drove to another state to rescue her, talked to her, advised her, shielded her, comforted her, you even hurt for her, prayed for her and with her. You want so much better for her, but when they don’t want better for themselves, what do you do? Do you walk away, distant and remove yourself? Do you end years of friendship? Do you still continue to stay and watch them self destruct and destroy themselves by constantly repeating the same cycle, year after year, after year, wanting no change or growth, just wanting the love of him. But this isn’t love, so maybe it’s just, wanting him, and whatever that brings. And although you have new and exciting stuff to talk about, the conversations are always the same with this friend. And the actions are still the same, leave, go back, get abused, get cheated on, leave, go back, get abused, get disrespected, constantly lowering self esteem, lower than low, leave, go back, get abused… I don’t know, what is it? Maybe it could be childhood trauma, or the lack of love that makes her feel the need to so be loved. But how could this be when she is loved by many? Maybe it’s because the love is overshadowed because of her want and desire to be loved by this One. The no good One, the disrespectful One, the hurtful One, the abusive One, but why? Why are you so in need to be loved by him when you are loved by God, the Most Highest? God’s love is an insurmountable love that this world, no man or anyone could ever give you. And yes, please understand, a person can believe in you and want what’s best for you, but the question is - Do you believe in you? Your friend can know your worth, but you have to know your worth for yourself and sweetheart, you are so worthy and deserving to be happy, loved and at peace, you truly are. You are destined for greatness. There is so much potential in you. I just wish you can see in you what I see in you. You have the strength to overcome this, so instead of seeking love in a man, you must first learn to love yourself. I pray you will seek God, turn to God, pray to God, cry out to God, open up to God, trust God and allow God to bring you through. Oh the blessings that are waiting for you on the other side. Imagine - Being without that person and experiencing this. Joy, love, respect, happiness, healing, peace, smiles, laughter, dancing, relaxation, fun, sunshine, did I say peace? Prosperity, vision, dreams, goals, strength, newness, opportunities, progression, growth, did I say peace? Since you already know what life is like with him, imagine life without him.