Life In Acts

Time is a cheeky bastard.
You can't rewind it.
There are no do overs.
Depending where your time starts,
Decides your memories, you don't decide.
Your surroundings create how you feel about yourself and others.
Love, trust, feelings, emotions ingrained in your small body, inexperienced minds.
Your sense of self, wants, needs, desires.

Society puts all of these small humans together to teach them.
Colors, shapes, numbers, letters
Friendships, differences, prejudice
Fight or flight
Pretty, ugly, smart, dumb, funny, bad
Teachers teach students the pecking order,
Who is the pet, who to stay away from,
Who to ignore

Home life, 
Who matters most,
Where do you fit in?
Do you get coddled, shamed, rebel, loved, fear
How important are you?

A few years till adulthood
Who are you?
What will you be?
Will you make a mark in the world?
Are you worth it?
Do you deserve to be in the world?
Acceptance, confidence, station in life
Are you in control, can you control it?
So many sides of the box pushing and pulling you.
Sex, drugs, money, confidence, education
Who helps you hold the walls?
Who pushes them down?
Who cares if they crumble?
This is the point where you have to be strong enough to hold on, and look up!
See your future above you,
Beyond your environment, influences, peers.

Out there, higher education, jobs, marriage, parenthood.
Bills, jobs, rent, mortgage, loans.
Trust, love, friendship, loss, acceptance.
You know who you are.
Do others accept you?
Life pressing down.
With little humans of your own.
Not making the same mistakes,
Making the same mistakes, 
Making new mistakes.
Who do you have to hold you up?
Your spouse, your friends, new friends?
Is it ok?It feels good.
Did you learn when you were young it was ok?
Or did you see the pain, know the jealousy on your parent's face?
Did your family break apart from it,
or live through it?
Which was worse?
What does your spouse mean to you?

Time is half over.
Your experience, regrets, second chances.
Youth is gone, bodies wearing down.
Illness comes more easily.
Time to support your young climbing out of their box.
As they continue the cycle.
Was it enough?
Enough love, enough confidence, enough support?
Be cautious of this, let this in.
They make mistakes.
Do you fix them or let them learn?

Last act of the play of your life.
Tragedy? Comedy? Love story?
All or none?
Your life is a snail on a speeding train.
You are almost invisible to the youth.
An annoyance of knowledge they need,
But don't want to hear.
You remember, you don't remember.
Who are you ?
You want to be wanted, needed.
Did you make your mark?
Did you find love?
Please accept me, for who I am, who I was.
Remember me.

Copyright © Eliza Draven | Year Posted 2017

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