Life After Death

Is there a life after death? I'm about to see I'm ready to find out, got no one looking out for me Been betrayed by everyone I gave my all too They dug the hole, they made me fall through Why can't I erase these memories yet? I don't have much energy left I'm trying to find courage in fear Trying to be strong when my worries are near I may say a lot of things that people aren't in a hurry to hear I'm killing myself daily while I try to bury my fears My past calls and I'm stupid enough to answer So many thoughts in my head, it takes just a few minutes to write these Stanzas But I'm reliving everything I wish to forget Leaving the house of a one night stand, my ex called but I'll miss her next Trying to get the number of every girl I haven't kissed on yet I hate love for the way it treated me and made me feel What does it take to heal? Depression telling me to pick up a blade and self-harm again, maybe more Strangers asking what I'm crazy for Suicidal thoughts in my mind I can't seem to shake yet When I'm asleep I dream of my death Is it the only way to find peace? I shut my heart off, but my mind speaks Growing up in foster care, made me unable to commit to people in my life Got so used to them leaving, that I get scared anytime someone is by my side Let me finish this bottle of brandy and goodbye note, there's isn't much left Goodbye world, I couldn't take it anymore, it's time to see if there's a life after death You know what?, I'm not done yet I'm ready to give more than ever, because you have to when life tries to make you become less Starting from the bottom like Tetris, it's time to build me I'm going to kill these suicidal thoughts before they kill me I've been in a bad place recently, but it's time to show the world the real me As long as i have a pen full of ink, I'll never have an empty pad No more feeling Empty, Sad I'll become sane from everything that sent me mad I'm about to Make a bigger comeback than Vinny Paz When he came back from a broken neck to box again A man with nothing to lose, there's no stopping him Odds stacked against him, but he got the win You're about to see part 2 of that Throw your opinions at me, and I'm hitting you with the hardest facts I may lose balance here and there, but you won't knock me out with the heart I have No more crying over people who did me wrong All they did was make me realize I'm better without them and made me more strong If i was supposed to die, i would have when i overdosed at seventeen I'm not yet what Heaven needs The past few months i was thinking about killing myself, but it's time to create a better me I've got a much longer Story to go, i haven't wrote my best chapters yet I was Ready to die, but I carried on living, I guess I found my life after death