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Letting Go

I wrote this about the recent passing of my mother, Annette. She was a rock, kind and loving, my confidant and best friend - a Godly woman. I miss her already, deeply. She died on January 24th, 2009 at 10:30 p.m. due to complications of a UTI that went septic through her system, and a blood clot that formed in her foot. She suffered and painfully fought for three weeks... she was facing multiple amputations of all her limbs and multiple organ failure. She was only 61. My heart was imprinted greatly with her love and I am thankful for her. She made me so much of who I am today. Letting Go by Amy Swanson Letting go of things that I once held dear, believed in My soul stripped bare in agony, for all the world to see Heart beats yet it feels so cold inside Silence sits like stone in my spirit. Life has led us on this journey... but one lonely road sought us out with furious speed; A road that was not wanted or desired. How can you be so accepting? How can you not be angry, as I am? How can you ... still believe? ...and how will I ever again believe...? I feel as though life took a wrong turn... or someone didn't write the script correctly... it wasn't supposed to be this way. I weep great sobbing tears that threaten to rip out my very essence The pain so sharp like knives of ice The judgment harsh unfair and undeserved Sternly.... mercilessly... delivered. They say that there is peace in death but there was none only cruel suffering that should not have been allowed; torment inflicted poor bruised body until so still you lay... life was no more. I ask, "What meaning can there be?" I strain to hear the answer but there is no response... only unwavering silence. A part of me will never be the same. Existence I now view with different eyes.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009

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Date: 2/22/2009 9:05:00 AM
Dear Amy, I can really relate to asking, "What meaning can there be?" Thank you for directing me to this beautiful poem. Your mother sounds like a great woman. Perhaps she has met my father in heaven. I appreciate your comments on "Memories of Dad," and I'm glad to have made a new friend. Bless you! Carolyn
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Date: 2/13/2009 6:45:00 AM
Amy, x
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Date: 1/31/2009 10:27:00 AM
Amy I am so sorry, from the bottom of my heart I feel for you, I'm so sorry you had to see your mom suffer and then be taken away. This poem is so deep, I could feel your hurt and I know it's deep. I'm not good at this kind of stuff but I pray for peace my friend. Love and blessing to you! ~Michaela~
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Date: 1/30/2009 4:08:00 PM
Amy, I am so deeply sorry for the tragic loss of your mom. I watched my mom suffer for a year and towards the end couldn't bear it anymore. I understand every word that you write as it pierces my heart, like the pain was yesterday for me. Time does heal, but there are never any answers as to why. Not here in this life anyway. I cried every day for a very long time. My heart goes out to you. I wish you healing and peace during this very sad time. Love, Shar
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Date: 1/30/2009 12:10:00 PM
it's too soon now to tell you death is a part of life; and the next world sometimes we have to be draged away; or we'll never leave. or the love ones that were leaving would rather you stay and suffer than go and be with the Lord. sometimes the Lord has to take away. all my deepest sympathy and love john
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Date: 1/30/2009 8:37:00 AM
Amy, I am so sorry for your loss and for your mothers suffering. This poem, written so beautifully is a heart touching tribute to the love that you have for her. The last two lines speak volumes. Only time can soften the grief. Being able to write about pain is always a healing thing for me and I hope it helps you too. Thank you for sharing your heart. Love always, Robin
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Date: 1/30/2009 8:13:00 AM
I am so sorry for your loss, really I am. Your pain is so clear in this as it yells for understanding, for anything. I lost my brother to suicide, then my dad to cancer and yet the same year I survived 9-11. There aren't any answers I can give, other than I lost my faith, but found it again. How, it was a process, but it came back and time allows things to get easier. No, never forgetting, but easier. Good luck to you and keep strong dmy friend. Michael
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