Letter To My Mother

A letter to my Mother. I wish that you could only see the profound effect you've had on me. I'll love you forever, forever my mother you'll be. You taught me how to be optimistic, loyal, and clever. Because of you, I'll know this forever. With that being said, there is a conflict that runs threw my head. You are my biggest influencer, my first teacher, my mother. I slip back to early memories of my youth. Back to where my sideways demons got roots. Please don't cry or attempt to deny what I'm about to say...we both know it to be the truth. I never fit in a proper age crowd, I was grandfathered into your rough and roudy crew. Just a kid, yet grown. my innocent soul was sold to the devil for a modest bid. I was quick to learn what is seen and what's heard you must rid from your head. You taught me the thrill of the thin ice we sled. Who needed school when shoplifting and smoking would make you more cool? I learned to study all kinds of people, seen the rise and fall, the consequences of their actions. For this I am greatful, it made me smart. I kept all of their secrets, it gained me their trust. If you live this kind of life you know having that is a survival tool and a must. My first lesson in loyalty was don't make your mother look like a fool. Keep your mouth shut and you won't blow your cover. You taught me the best scams, how to lie,steal, and sneak around with a lover. And this is where the confusion slips in. I watch you shake your head in dismay, claiming you have no idea how I grew to be this way. You have no clue how I got off track. I feel the tears in my eyes, my heart begins to ache. It just kind of hurts you know, that it's me of all people you betray. I hold my moral ground and keep your secrets still. The pain that you caused me, taught me its best to be ligit, something I'll never quit. There is one question I must ask, I'm sure it has an answer that I will never get. Why is it that I carry your secrets still, yet you let mine be know? How are you so blind that you can't see the emotional conflict you birthed into me? I wonder to myself just what would these people think if they had all the facts, If just one time I let it slip that I was brought up to be this way by none other, my greatest influence was my own mother.