Lessons On Being Poor Staying Poor

Lessons On Being Poor Staying Poor This seminar begins at once and lasts a lifetime Being poor, staying poor, is not that complicated A nasty person full of sin and crime is perfect for this job Did I say job? Remove that word instantly From your dictionary The proper candidate to start a life of poverty To be truly indigent, without a penny to your name Must call on all the primal elements of ignorance you can This is a science, of simple principals Down below the poverty lines upon the aged faces And lower levels of disgrace that put you in your places Right around the corner, in the gutter, no social graces So write these items down so you remember To start you in the right direction Of being real pathetic Not a member of the human race That race is run Here are the guidelines for non-prosperity, poverty forever: NO EDUCATION: Stay away from schools. Be as dumb as you are. You can afford it. Ignorance is bliss, so don’t resist. Don't miss out on this. DO DRUGS: Get intoxicated. Get numb. There is nothing like addiction. GO TO JAIL: A life of crime is perfect to keep you down. It is insurance for the poor LOOK WHO IS NOT LOOKING: Never find work. Don’t let it find you. Refuse all kinds of labor. Live a life on welfare and roller skate. (Image is everything.) DON'T DRESS FOR SUCCESS: Wear dirty shabby rags, tattered shoes with holes. Don’t forget tattoos of Hitler, Stalin and Satan, imprinted on your face. BE A LITTLE STINKER - No hygiene for you. Never take a bath or comb your hair or brush your teeth. (Teeth should be green or better still, no teeth.) LOOK WHO'S NOT LOOKING GOOD: Be fat. Be ugly, (That comes naturally.) Be sickly. Revel in your diseases. Share them with the neighbors as special favors. *Borrow. Steal. Never save. … Did I mention not to shave? *Attitudes are good. Bad ones are better. Nasty dispositions will take you the distance just past your nose. Going around naked couldn't hurt. Picking your nose, wearing pajamas everywhere you go will send a signal too. Poverty is very easy. Stay away from movie stars and famous people. In fact, stay away from everyone who is not creepy. Hang out with crazies and other lazies. Remember it all starts with you. Be true. Stay dumb. Suck your thumb. Stay in bed all day. Be indigent in every way To find that inner peace Class is ended. Go in poverty.