Leinster - county hokum
she came from Carlow, wee caitlin girl
one of three sisters gave you a twirl
ancient bridge, river Barrow
she was long, very narrow
still glimpse her glance where wild waters swirl
legend of Dublin lived all alone
yes, you guessed, it's our Molly Malone
Howth to Dun Laoghaire
she hobbled home weary
heaving her wheel-barrow, skin and bone
bareback beauty from Kildare of course
the equine county, she rode a horse
the Curragh and Church of Oak
Hill of Allen, she met a bloke
fell from her mount far into the gorse
wee ossory cat from Kilkenny
he lived in a castle with many
his marbles were off the grid
on festival floors they slid
lost them all, he couldn't find any
sad lad from Laois, brains short of an ounce
escaped from prison hard to pronounce
nailed tight down inside a crate
trickling blood betrayed his fate
men with batons were ready to pounce
canny Longford Lil made you quiver
banjo playing by Camlin River
laid-back lady, bluegrass hair
fortress town and country fair
tickled and plucked she did deliver
this talkative halyon hailed from Louth
he robbed two banks then headed down south
stopped at Dundalk to have a drink
garda grabbed him in a blink
that Drogheda gaol did shut his mouth
Meath mini minx, curious and slim
from Navan or Kells or was it Trim?
crawled into a passage-grave
all by herself, very brave
one leg out, you can still see her limb!
tall Tullamore youth from Offaly
he played around so awfully
he zoomed right in on Zara
next kissed his cousin Clara
then cuddled Brosna unlawfully
Westmeath chancer in boot of his car
some hooch for the folk of Mullingar
for Athlone, fancier grog
illegal still from the bog
smooth smiling man who smoked a cigar
wretched banshee on the Wexford beach
collecting pebbles within her reach
the sea then stole her ardour
he left from Rosslare harbour
lifting her eyes she started to screech!
wild Wicklow wag went out to play
the Arklow shoreline and on to Bray
Sugarloaf, Lugnaquilla
Glendalough, wee tequila
back to Greystones, he's had a good day
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