Leaving You

~***Part Two of Vanish Away the Anguish series…read Part One, Holding You, if you haven’t done so! Thanks***~ I’m not sad, okay? Would rather be smiling day to day With gladness and happiness in addition To satisfaction to the max…I need to really relax and pray Where are dem lovable men and women? I’m incredibly, strangely spooked How much you’ve overlooked Our love affairs and friendship Come on, get a big and strong grip It’s horrendous… I tend to forget what to write All will be alright…today and tonight Wish I could be like you, so bright So…marvelous! Oh, what happened between us? Remind me to catch my be-happy bus You and I need to move on honestly It hurts me to say it, but it's meant to be Inspired unbearably by everything and such I need so much spiritual faith and physical touch I know I was selfish… Sorry, I made a wish… Love would find me in an outlandish place at my utmost best.. Hate found me unfortunately in my worst, most-abashing moments It’s like these mood swings and emotions of oceans won’t rest So manic and acting idiotic and maniac-like…missing your presence… Shadows of shame haunt me and consume me so You don’t know me to the extreme…you don’t know… Can you hear me? Can you see me? Taste me? Feel me? Smell me too, maybe? Hopefully and passionately Clean my dirty, gutter cranium…hum away the dumb That buries inside me Make me feel completely happy Never get out of me Rub away the numb by pressing on my pleasure plum Rub it all away now possibly.. Breathing air of darksome despair… You don’t care, you weren’t there To help me in my sorrowful hardships I will invest in my other friendships So, I’m leaving you thirsty and empty… Since you didn’t unchain me happily Sucks to be you in my point of view…sick of the abuses and the many bruises I was a bird in your cage, dying to be free I chirped and chirped to be out of captivity I want to avoid my void of paranoid muses…untie these tightening nooses… You have no right to judge me without any evidence of my wrongs…only God can judge my every rights and wrongs I’m leaving you lonesome in your so-called life of wholesome perfection It’s amazing how many songs I wrote due to the past and present…need to belong amongst writing some songs… It sucks that you had to desert me in the dust, vulnerable due to rejection You messed me up so good Yes, you did and it was rude I need the attitude of gratitude Instead of being out in the negativity, ashamed and nude Will you hear me out from being misunderstood? Will you heal me and conquer me completely like you should? Fulfill my fantasies and freedom-flaring, getting me on my knees I will do what you please If you do the same at ease So, stop being a dorky tease Vanish away my anguish Vanish away my anguish I’m sorry that I was selfish Vanish away my anguish Vanish away my anguish In this angst and remorse, I relish, really out of course Demolish my despair all the way today Turn the nightfall to a sunrise day by day Don’t make me upset…(let me get as much joy as I can get) Also, be my surreally lovely, silhouetted sunset Be my overall, optimistic-oriented outlet To release the tension of regret…it’s difficult to interpret the stress the debt got me into, I bet Turn the terribleness around and morph it to something great…make it like the first day we met