Leaving Landfall At Dawn

Looking back, a morning mist hangs
In the deeply shadowed valleys
From the deck of ‘Atlanta,’
Land recedes on the power of wind
In the deeply shadowed valleys
The sun is  slowly awakening trees
Land recedes on the power of wind
Sails respond to a surging sea
The sun is  slowly awakening trees
From the deck of ‘Atlanta,’
Sails respond to a surging sea
Looking back, a morning mist hangs


For Julia Ward’s Sailing Contest
Deadline: Tuesday, August 23, 2022 

For Russell's  Complete your poem Contest

Previous poem Russell Sivey’s  5 minute Challenge

Sailing
She misses the morning mist;
the deep, shadowed vista of valleys
hair flying
across her face like curtains

her papa at the helm of  ‘Atlanta’. 
passing plagues of flies at the bridge
where fishermen cleaned their catches.

Each day like a page, once turned
no chance of ever re-tracing.
5/13/2013


Using this word list I wrote for 5 minutes
Mist, helm, part, page, plaque, hair, traces, bridge, curtain, vista

For my second poem I decided to abandon the word list and changed the form from Free verse to a  Pantoum.  I also made a new title.
I liked how the repeating lines gave a feeling of looking back to the land, feeling the wind take the boat and watch the land receding.  I am really enjoying trying new forms.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Gauthier Avatar
May 31, 2021 at 7:07 AM
Beautiful. There is definitely something magical about early morning mist ~
A  Avatar
June 19, 2013 at 1:13 PM
Hi Suz, CONGRATULATIONS in Russell's contest.... Luv~ SKAT
Gildersleeve Avatar
June 19, 2013 at 2:54 AM
Suz this is a fabulous Pantoum. Congratulation on your win. Warm Smiles, Connie
Horsman Avatar
May 25, 2013 at 9:51 AM
love these Suzanne, just glad i've caught up with this wonderful poetry...
Hicks Avatar
May 20, 2013 at 10:13 PM
Agreed with Gail... sometimes poetry can feel a bit unrealistic as far as descriptions... but these words took me to the place you describe as if you were actually watching the scene and writing it out at the same time. Very well put together!
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace