Leave My Tombstone Untitled

I am about to commit the worst sin I am about to abandon my own life Just lie in the bed and die This compulsion to write dark things Thoughts or even feelings Maybe that is what has me living Giving me the strength to keep going But really is it even worth it I feel like for the longest time I have been screaming and screaming But I already stopped drowning I am at the bottom of the sea I stopped sinking I can’t breathe yet I am still feeling I can't live yet I am required to keep breathing What about this is really worth it Up day in day in day in And death keeps missing Left with not choices, my worth keeps dipping My belief is gone, my will to life fleeting only remaining with one instinct To jump from the tallest building Without warning or any thinking Without crying for my family my mother, she really loves me I can’t think of her without tearing At times she makes it really worth it I am here still scribbling But very soon it is coming I am waiting for my very last day I can feel it my pathology is exhausting Please help me I am tired of suffering Or at least help me to die a little easy Help me help me help me I am finding very few things really worth it Even my writing has lost all its beauty