Leave It Out Judge

The judge told the man, “You’re accused By all of those that you abused. You’re too touchy feely, You touch and feel freely And all of them feel they’ve been used.” The man cleared his throat, then he spoke But all that came out was a croak He coughed and he spluttered But nothing got muttered It sounded as though he might choke The judge said, “Are there mitigations For your regular deviations For touching two teachers And one or two preachers And, with my wife, having relations?” The man cleared his throat once again His voice cackled like an old hen He just couldn’t speak It could take a week His lawyer requested a pen The judge said, “It only gets worse, You fondled a man in a hearse It’s really quite shoddy To grope a dead body To decency you are a curse.” The man tried to write a quick note He coughed and he wheezed as he wrote He struggled for breath Like he was near death Or had a bullfrog in his throat The judge said, “Speak up at the double You sound like you’ve gargled with rubble As a means to an end Suck a Fisherman’s Friend.” The man said,,, “I’M IN ENOUGH TROUBLE!”