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Leader of the Pack

Wake up sleepy head is all that’s left to say. Get up I say!
But of course it didn’t help… This was sleeping at it’s best!
The bus was due for school soon, and still in bed he slept.
So out came my hidden weapons, that are better than water splashed.
I crept quietly up beside him… and here is what I said…

If you don’t get up I’ll release our monstrous, fearless, great cat.
He’ll jump and walk all over you… before sitting on your head.
Then I’ll bring in our loud 66 lb lab to lick you everywhere to death.
Then I’ll bring in our 86lb lab that’ll jump up to join you there, instead.
Don’t be surprised if he stretches out taking up most of the bed.
He’s really good at pushing with those really good, strong legs so…
It won’t be long before there’s nowhere left but on the floor to sleep.
And now let me introduce our 55lb forceful, herding cattle dog.
If he can’t get you up and going… believe me it can’t be done...
He’ll nip at you gracefully while never leaving a single bite.
He’s hungry and wants breakfast leftovers before it turns twilight.
And me I’ve reset the alarm. There’s no more music left to play.
Every five minutes the buzzer will be there just for you, I say.

Now I’m going away and you’ll notice the smells of bacon, toast, and eggs.
And if the dogs are in the kitchen first… it’s cold cereal for you this day.
And once they get a taste for leaving you far behind…
You will have forfeited your place at the table I know they’ll think you kind.
And when the animals are gone from your bed…
Who will protect you while you sleep?
Remember there’s an 8000 lb dinosaur living in the living room, that I keep…
And I know for a fact that he’ll come in and drool all over you…
He’s the problem we all run from…we walk around him every day. 
And I named him Mr. Report Card… for all the damage he can play.
Without him there’ll be no Xbox, Play Station, or fancy fishing trips.
So get up my sleepy young man… The world is waiting for you today.

These are my secret weapons and they work every time…
We haven’t missed the bus you see… in a very, very long time.

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