L Milton Hankins Poet Rondeau Redouble

Lay Me Gently Down

Lay me gently down on a cold wint’ry day,
While the fireplace sparkles and blue flames rise
A day when the sun shines not to brighten, nay
Snow cloud blankets denying warmth to the eyes.

So you know, death comes to me as no surprise
For too long have I waited, on this soft bed lay
Suffering intoning voices filled with hopeful lies,
Lay me gently down on a cold wint’ry day.

I can no longer yearn for the beach or the cay
For springtime will likely find me not, I surmise,
Nor fond visions of summer’s long hours at play
While the fireplace sparkles and blue flames rise.

Though mind will foment, as the tongue still tries,
My time will have come with nothing left to say
Time inevitably comes when a thing of value dies,
A day when the sun shines not to brighten, nay.

All has been accomplished, come what may
Little or no remembrance of the lows and the highs
No more time to relish things frivolous, or the gay,
Snow cloud blankets denying warmth to the eyes

Likely I shall hear the low keening and the sighs
The mourning sounds of sorrow, the bereaving way,
As last breaths accompany the end of earthly ties
May there only be one desire left for you to obey,
                                             Lay me gently down. 

Written May 14, 2022

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Charles Reese June 3, 2022 at 9:40 PM You are a gifted storyteller I can see. I would like to make one suggestion. Don't start a line with the word "and" it serves on purpose as there are much better choices. French styles are my favorite because of the repeating lines. It's almost like writing music. L Milton Hankins June 4, 2022 at 7:43 AM Thanks, Charles. You are absolutely right with your suggestion. I re-read it without the "and" (and) noticed it made a big difference. I am going to avoid doing this in the future.

Jenna Logan May 17, 2022 at 8:46 AM My gosh, Milt. This had me feeling your sorrow as death is imminent. Not to have been placed in the contest is a shame. But then, I've never felt that contest host has a clue about what makes good poetry. This is an outstanding creation, and a fave for me. Jenna Logan May 17, 2022 at 10:12 AM I have to agree with you about the caliber of this write, Milt. My thoughts and prayers are for you with another surgery. L Milton Hankins May 17, 2022 at 9:39 AM Well, girl, I am 80! And, I'm facing another serious carotid surgery. Saw my dr this morning. Soup Mail. But, if I say so myself, this poem may well be the best poem I've EVER written.

Caren Krutsinger May 15, 2022 at 5:03 PM This was super well thought out and remarkably executed! L Milton Hankins May 15, 2022 at 7:52 PM Actually, Caren, I think this might be one of the best poems I've ever written. The form is difficult, but I have some practice with the villanelle. They are similar. Thank you for your compliments.

Beryl Edmonds May 14, 2022 at 12:52 PM An excellent Rondeau Redouble Milton. It’s to be hoped they lay me gently down (great line) when the grim reaper is hanging around… Belle L Milton Hankins May 14, 2022 at 1:02 PM Thanks so much, Belle. I am always so delighted when you respond to one of my poems with a rhyme. You are special!

Mystic Rose Rose May 14, 2022 at 12:18 PM This is so well written, it flows like a magical carpet ride, thank you for sharing your talent Milton, keep going, :) L Milton Hankins May 14, 2022 at 1:03 PM Aw, I will, Mystic Rose Rose, as long as I can. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment on my poem.