Laughing

Am not laughing because of joy
I am laughing because my life is a joke

Last week I lost my bag with all my belongings
Gone
Gone with a stranger who posed as a motor bike cyclist

Today I had to call my dad
It's 5 am 
I tell him I don't have fare to work
If we had time
I'd tell him
I don't have energy either 
no oil for my face
Deo for my armpits
Cologne for my skin
Powder for my smelly feet
Nor vision nor joy nor hope
I have run out of a lot of things dad

But I said thank you when he sent the money
I hope it covers for all the chaos

As a result of that night
There are a lot of things I do not afford
I cannot buy lunch or breakfast
And peace has become a luxury too

I remember it was a Friday night in January
I saw him and admired his beauty
I cried as I prayed
I journal-ed about him
About us
I prayed about us
And God answered
say five months later
When the feeling was gone
And today I wish with all my heart I never met him
I never said hi
I just wish with all my heart i hadn't been that enchanted
Now am stuck here with a boomerang of a boring rebellious person who won't leave me the heck alone
I wish with all my heart for him to stop
diffuse and disappear

How does this phone call go
Hi dad, 
am running out of life
...

Wish me luck

Copyright © Lyn Ngesh | Year Posted 2019

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