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Landlock Blues

you still
seeps from my pores......
i can still smell you on my skin 
in my hair;
you're every where

yet..

you're nowhere to be found
gone
vanished
like you died 

im still haunted by every single though of you 
every second
every day
from our very first kiss to our last


its burned into my mind 
you made it like that...
touched me so deeply 
when i looked into your eyes it felt real 

was it real ?

or my false delusions yet again 

you walked away its time for me to do the same
i wont promise i wont look back 
its hard enough to just take the first step 

questions blur my vision 
i gave you everything i could
my heart
my body
my soul
and it still wasn't enough to make you stay ?
was she really better than me ?
or did you love her more then me?
did you love me at all ?

i wasted my time putting in effort 
building
molding
our relationship

for you to leave me in the dead of night

i never cheated
i never lied
i always loved you
i always did you just right
i even now pray for you to come back to me
to feel me like you once did to touch me like im yours

i wish i could cry
but yet i can't
the hole you made in my heart
is a constant ache 

thats what i get for loving with an open heart
for trusting a man too much
I don't know if it was a good thing to have met you;
so drawn to you i was
like a moth to flame 

i experienced love in its realist form 
and for that im thankfull

but it also didn't last left me broken
into millions of pieces 
i don't know if love is real 
or maybe it all must end ...

or maybe i been broken and you just held me together
that i may never know ................

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