Get Your Premium Membership

Lament Of My Life

Poet's Notes
(Show)

Become a Premium Member and post notes and photos about your poem like Lu Loo.


Lament of My Life Contest Sponsor: Casarah Nance ~My Bereaving Eulogy~ Time seemed to pass so much faster than I expected, All the love, loss, passion and things I have neglected. How many times have I lost a special loved one? Well, now I am the loss, I'm so delicate and young. Thirty five years of the clock ticking towards my end, I hardly had any time to catch up and make amends. I was born into a family full of love so passionate, strong mother and father, siblings so affectionate. At times as a sweet little girl I was scared to look in my mirror, too scared to see disappointment in conjunction with my fear. Times of broken hearts and left alone, never to feel peace fully, friends left and at times was attacked by bullies. Most of the time I was full of daisies and sweet honey, I was content and silly, joyful and pretty funny. I was raised with love, beauty and constant protection, with my mom I have always had a deep inner connection. Bonded by blood was I, with my brother and two sisters, siblings so potent, conflict and resentment was never considered. Wedding bells rang and the honeymoon came and left, many years I lived with a curse of feeling anxious and depressed. But my husband, sweet Nicholas, saved me from my damnation, so in love with his wife, who felt I didn't deserve condemnation. Then there she was my soul saving wonder, a petite seven pounds, my ravishing sweetheart, a wrinkly face with big doe eyes so brown. In my twenties is when I almost died from my addiction, I was defeated and abruptly damaged with out jurisdiction. Death should've been seeping right through the walls of my soul, My body took a tole, out of control, and yearned to become whole. I have the Lord to thank for my bravery and recuperation, I'll never know why He chose to save me from elimination. The older I grew the more wisdom I seemed to gain, I threw out all the jealousy, regret and constant blame. Back on December thirty-first of two thousand and ten, my big sister died tragically and I lost my best friend. The horror of our last goodbye still haunts me every night, why would she take her life and give up up on her fight? My inner essence was shattered and my joy found regret, I never gave my soul a chance to heal, time to reflect. But the next five years was full of soul-savoring moments, I had an opportunity for growth, sapience and atonement. When I died, the loss of me, destroyed everyone I knew, funny how I hadn't realized how much their love for me grew.... I was chosen to be born into a warm family. Devoted mother and father with more than enough love and peaceful joy to go around. But my personal deprivation caused my fork in the road to veer off and create my own twisted global destiny. What was my destiny anyways? My destiny was to nurture my loved ones and keep my heart safe from the damage of what could've become my daily struggle. I was born to be a daughter, sister wife and mother.... When did I get so lost in the madness of separating good from regret, and distinguishing my happiness and my lower class confidence? None of that matters anymore...what is important is the legacy I left behind is in my daughters eyes and in her smile. She will always carry my sensitive nature in her tiny ten year old soul. My husband loved me so much more than I can have ever imagined. I know this for a fact. How do I know? Well, being with someone for twenty years is enough proof. Regardless of consequences and in spite of wrong doings, I always needed more. “More what?”, I wondered. I longed for the satisfaction in my core that only me and me alone could provide. My sorrow from losses beyond my control has flipped upside down and now I am the loss for others. Their sorrow is unbearable. I can barely shine down upon them because my empathy knows what it's like to lose such an important person in my life. Now more than ever, I realize my importance in the world. I was born to love freely, and I died being loved and needed... loss can break our hearts life was my constant blessing grieve, but see me smile be sad, not for long empathy can shine beyond death can be a gift ~Date Written: March 8, 2016~

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 3/23/2016 9:08:00 AM
Beautiful poem:) congratulations on your deserving winner:)
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/23/2016 9:15:00 AM
Thank you very much Jo :)-luloo
Date: 3/22/2016 12:20:00 AM
Congratulations on your win with this very open and honest lament of your life's journey. It touched my heart. Hugs...
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/23/2016 9:15:00 AM
Thank you very much Susan :)-luloo
Date: 3/21/2016 6:31:00 PM
Oh the soup gremlin has hit again - i know I commented on this about a week ago:-( Exceptional write LuLoo I had no doubt this would hit the top spot the first time I read it:-) many congrats:-) hugs jan xx
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/23/2016 9:14:00 AM
Thank you very much lovely lady, you are my sweetheart! :)-luloo
Date: 3/21/2016 4:15:00 PM
Hi Luloo, Congrats on your win in the contest with this beautiful poem. Tears fall from the eyes as one does read this excellent work. This is a definite seven and it goes into my faves Laura. Hugs....MIKE.
Login to Reply
Raven Avatar
Vladislav Raven
Date: 3/21/2016 4:40:00 PM
Mike is the real name, Vladislav is just the writing name. I go by either. Congratulations once more for a wonderful write....MIKE.
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/21/2016 4:21:00 PM
Thank you Mike, I apologize I did not know you go by the name Mike :)-many thanks! -luloo
Date: 3/21/2016 12:17:00 PM
Laura, a big CONGRATULATIONS on your awesome win with this wonderfully penned poem !
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/21/2016 3:05:00 PM
Broken Wings..thank you :)-luloo
Date: 3/21/2016 4:41:00 AM
Congrats on your first placement, Laura! A detailed narrative of love and setbacks!
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/21/2016 9:40:00 AM
Thank you very much Balveen :)-luloo
Date: 3/21/2016 1:17:00 AM
Congratulations on your wonderful win Luloo...
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/21/2016 9:39:00 AM
Thank you Charlie :)-luloo
Date: 3/20/2016 10:38:00 PM
Laura, congratulations on First Place win for your very beautiful, deep and insightful write. Hugs, Sandra
Login to Reply
Date: 3/20/2016 9:04:00 PM
Congrats Laura on 1'st place...awesome sad write...god bless...^WW^
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/21/2016 9:38:00 AM
Thank you WW :)-luloo
Date: 3/20/2016 8:27:00 PM
This was such a thorough and complete write, it is really the core of what I wanted for the contest, a personal looking inside. Thank you for entering and congrats on first place.
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/21/2016 9:35:00 AM
Oh my Casarah, thank you so much! I am very honored that you enjoyed my write. I really did put a lot of thought into this one..thanks -luloo
Date: 3/11/2016 9:45:00 AM
Narratives have always been a favorite form for me. I love the balance of this poem, the reality of it and how it highlights our choices. Good luck with the contest.
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/11/2016 12:01:00 PM
Thank you very much Rob, have a great day :)-luloo *smiles*
Date: 3/9/2016 7:57:00 AM
Insightfully honest. Great contest entry, but I suspect, written for other reasons...well wishes, Charlie
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/9/2016 8:55:00 AM
Many thanks :)-luloo *smiles*
Date: 3/8/2016 6:50:00 PM
A heart felt write Laura...I commend you...(:^WW^:)
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/9/2016 8:53:00 AM
Thank you WW :)-luloo *Smiles*
Date: 3/8/2016 4:25:00 PM
Everything I've read of yours is beautifully heartfelt and profound. I admire your depth and poetic ability!
Login to Reply
Loo Avatar
Lu Loo
Date: 3/9/2016 8:53:00 AM
Thank you Tom :)-luloo *Smiles*