Lament of a Disgraceful Soul

I wake up and find that I am still breathing I am alive, well, and I am seeing The world go by, and things happening But does this mean that I am living? I breathe but I let poison out I see but filter good sights out My being alive results in people hurting I am a living being, but am I living? I have hurt everyone who has ever loved me My living in this world causes them misery I am human in looks, but no one looks at me Instead of living with me , why are they leaving me? I deserve to die and not live another day So I don't hurt people with my wayward ways So that the world is a better place for everyone With the darkness gone, the world will see a brighter sun But I am scared to die, I was born a coward So I am destined to live with regret filling my heart That I couldn't appreciate love when I got it nor to give it was I able Dying every second while clinging to this life despicable