Lakeside Ghazal

Who is feeding here, beside the lake, bare of grasses, 
stony ground, surrendered to thirst at golden dawn?

The lady at lake’s edge, washes no clothes, bares 
no feet, lifts no arms, surrenders to the beholden dawn.

The child of the lake plunges into sand, bares to the bone, 
chases ducks and surrenders to mom to awaken dawn.

The man of the lake offers his arm to the catch, bares
his blade, lifts his arms, surrenders to forsaken dawn.

The family of the lake, eats in silence, table now bare
offers silent thanks, surrenders peace since taken dawn.

Go we must, to find our own base self, bared before God, 
surrendering to hunger, tested by the trodden dawn.

The lake is always waiting, reeds rising, fish swimming, bare
to visitors after dark, surrendering, soon a broaden dawn.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

Poem

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Sankey- Lewis Avatar
February 14, 2016 at 8:51 AM
Congrats on your win; for a brilliant gem.
A  Avatar
November 15, 2013 at 11:05 AM
Sheri, Congratulations, on your 'Take the Leap' win............ LOVE ~ SKAT ~
May Avatar
November 13, 2013 at 6:48 PM
very nice ghazal Sheri.....congrats on a fine win
Adams Avatar
November 13, 2013 at 11:28 AM
you have some great images and i think it would have scored higher if line 1 also used the end word in it...but regardless wonderful work, congrats on your win :)
Mehta Avatar
November 12, 2013 at 3:21 AM
Congratulations on the win,Sheri
Kamoonpuri Avatar
November 8, 2013 at 11:22 PM
The whole poem is enchanting beautiful but i esp admired yor 2nd to last stanza about God. I like ghazals as they r common in my motherland India. Pls review my latest poem too.
Guzzi Avatar
November 8, 2013 at 4:43 PM
Very haunting! Sheri please go to my back blog and work on your rhyming word, the word before the repeated word which for you is DAWN [there are not 2 repeated words lines 1,2,4,6,8,10,12,14 MUST all end with the repeated word or phrase] ALL the words in those same lines which precede the repeated word/or phrase must RHYME
Guzzi Avatar
November 8, 2013 at 4:48 PM
[Who is feeding here, beside the lake, bare at dawn/ on the grasses, stony ground, and surrendered to thirst that dawn?] see AT rhymes with THAT [ The lady at lake’s edge, washes no clothes, bares/ no feet, lifts no arms and surrenders only BEGATS dawn.] You have till Monday to polish it please do it's a fine tale
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