Just a Poem About Hats

Distant sounds of the whippoorwill I'm just kidding, I don't write stuff like that I just wanted to tell you the story About the man with the funny hats You remember the mad hatter? That Alice in Wonderland guy? Well, he don't have nothing on him He's even got a hat that makes him fly His name was Josiah but we'll call him Joe A man with so many hats He had hats for every occasion He even made one from stray cats He had a hat that would glow in the dark And one that would even talk It fit so tight on top of his head That it squeaked everytime he'd walk He had a hat with drinks built in You know, with those bendy straws? He even had a hat with a telephone He didn't wanna miss any calls He had a hat for those special moments Just, in case, he found romance He even had a hat that would shake his leg Whenever he went out to dance He had a hat with a built in alarm clock Cause he never wanted to be late He even had a hat that he called his wife Cause sometimes he just wanted to wait You're probably thinking, "That sounds cool" And "Where can I get one of my own?" I can't tell you right now, there's too many listening, So, I'll wait till we're all alone Anyway, that's my story about the man and his hats And you can believe every word I said Next time, I'll tell you about the man with no hats That's cause he didn't even have a head