Notes About The Poem

Created for High Fives for June contest offered by Andrea Dietrich

June Bug

father-san said no
to my succulent June bug
who wrote me love songs
we harmonise together
under the swinging lanterns

loveromantic lovetanka

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Danny Derden

September 26, 2025 at 9:18 AM

That's a lovely and evocative tanka poem. It captures a feeling of youthful romance and gentle defiance. The image of the June bug as a sweetheart, the love songs, and harmonising under the swinging lanterns is very sweet.

Linda Alice Fowler

July 1, 2025 at 7:21 AM

Sweet love. Congratulations Beau! :)

Beau Barberis

July 3, 2025 at 10:33 AM

Thank you!!

David Crandall

June 26, 2025 at 2:33 PM

Aww...how can you say no to a succulent June bug? I say yes to the June bug!

Beau Barberis

June 26, 2025 at 4:17 PM

She said yes too. I like love stories with a happy ending. Succulent June bug as a term of endearment just makes me smile!

Ink Empress

June 26, 2025 at 5:38 AM

I love " swinging lanterns" how stunning and creatively written! Beautiful flow to your word weaving too , i especially love "who wrote me love songs we harmonise together" cuteness! Pleasure reading. Well deserved top win! Congratulations! Sending you light

Beau Barberis

June 26, 2025 at 4:09 PM

I’m so pleased you like it! Thanks so much for the feedback and kind words!

Kim Rodrigues

June 25, 2025 at 10:31 AM

A beauty! Congrats!

Beau Barberis

June 26, 2025 at 4:07 PM

Thank you, Kim!

Jim Healey

June 25, 2025 at 8:00 AM

Very unusual and creative take on the tanka form. Well done. (Btw, I lived in Japan for a year teaching ESL, although it was many years ago!) Cheers from Canada. Jim

Beau Barberis

June 26, 2025 at 4:06 PM

Thank you for the kind words. We are really enjoying Japan!

Andrea Dietrich

June 24, 2025 at 1:09 PM

This is such an unusual poem, and I found the use of succulent to be a bit odd, and yet, it still works because the whole thing is so dang cool!! Congrats in my contest.

Beau Barberis

June 24, 2025 at 2:47 PM

Thank you, Andrea! I tried to weave in the history of Tanka (love notes in Japan with a twist in the last two lines). I'm writing to you from Japan so this placement is doubly sweet!

June Bug

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