Jealous of Her Flamboyance

I shy away at first Fearful of her confidence I sense her invisible peacock feathers, noting their glittering ends pretend indifference, belittle and bully Fearful of her absolute self-assured confidence Knowing I will never be able to live her flair, her vim, her vigor She sparkles around me secretly dazzling me with her loveliness I am one of the first ones to poke fun Jealous of her ability to be flamboyant and loud I want to scream from the bowels of my soul Indoctrination and banal socialization has ruined me allowing me none of her shine, sparkle or self-assured confidence.