Japanese Beetles

Don’t be fooled, they carry nothing of the Orient’s allure. These voracious beetles, if they had the appetite, might easily bring down the loftiest sequoia. Depraved sexual deviants, they deflower helpless roses in broad daylight; and, like Medieval artisans of yore turn hardy zinnias into empty-ribbed cathedral windows. Their shells are hard like scarabs, but charmless, slicked with an iridescence cheap and tacky like carnival glass. Eager to reproduce their kind, they feed and copulate at the same time. Sex has never lost its need with any creature on this planet, least of all these pesky beetles, so a potent sex attractant does the job. And even in the heat of destructive flames, they go at it mindlessly one last time.