I Am Speedytomzalez Poet Light Verse

I'Ve Never Been To the Isle of Man

All my life I’ve had this plan, to settle in the Isle of Man
I tried to swim like all good sports, but three miles out I lost my shorts

Floating, lost among the driftwood, the sad remains of shrivelled manhood, I
Knew at once what I must do, and raised my game to sea canoe.

I stowed three paddles and climbed aboard, you could say that I was over-oared. Then casting off and Isle-ward bound, it seems I’d sat the wrong way round. In desperation, rows a fool, paddling straight for Liverpool?

Well, selling everything I’d got, I took the plunge and sailed by yacht.
I swabbed the deck with mop and sponge, it seems I didn’t need the plunge?
 
And thinking well there’s nothin’ doin’, plainly was a storm a brewin’ 
The wind lashed hard, the shore fled by , until at last ... the Isle of Skye??

Looks like things had gone to cock, just after leaving Albert Dock. 
Alas, a secret flaw I’ve harboured, I cannot tell my port from starboard

So then much older and much wiser I ditched the sea and bought a glider.
Now here, I really must confess, I cannot tell my East from West. But hear it from the horse’s mouth, I’m terribly good at North and South.

Skyward now with full intent, I check the compass  ...   Hello Kent??
All my life I’ve had this plan, to settle in the Isle of Man

Sod that.

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Doug Vinson February 24, 2017 at 5:17 PM Cheers, Tom - another nicely put together piece, fun to read. You are doing things right! My opinion but many will agree. I'm American but worked in Canada for 9 years, and lived there for 4 - Nova Scotia, one exit north on the Halifax airport on the 102 highway, little place called Enfield. Small world; had many good times in Halifax. Doug Vinson February 24, 2017 at 5:18 PM Oh. You did say, "as opposed to Nova Scotia." : (

Jan Allison February 14, 2017 at 6:45 PM really made me smile:-) we moved here in 1996 and would never go back to the UK mainland to live but my son now lives and works there:-) hugs Jan xx I Am Speedytomzalez February 17, 2017 at 1:53 PM Very wise to stay there. It's true I've never been even though I grew up in Liverpool. I must be the only aging biker who hasn't been to watch the TT. Guess I'll leave you guys in peace now. Mrs T and I live in Halifax (UK, as opposed to Nova Scotia). Eat plenty of fruit and those vowels open! Tom