It's Time To Grow

wanting to know when and how all my natural desires became warped unimportant overlooked it caused unhappiness for others but most importantly myself when did i become invisible to myself i blame it on my speech my thoughts my addictions contridicting everything i do every move i make afraid to put the next foot forward i am powerless over myself trying to find my message my reason of being i keep burying it in another blast that only lasts for a few misplaced steps then walking to realize i don't know where or when out my next step no desire for approval exposing myself living on the edge not scared or aware of the ending step is it jail with no bail is it death and forever will i sleep leaving loved ones to weep where will this next step take me\ will it be a step for a new meaning of life is it time to grow this is all i know