It's Done

when my life is done 
i assume my soul
or immaterial part of my being, 
will leave the physical structure 
of bones and flesh 											

as the two part will i
have a chance to look at myself
see who i was
or as someone i
never got to know 
or will they be the same

i’ve never been comfortable		
in my own skin
literally and figuratively
mostly overweight,
rarely fit and never skinny
insecure often reticent 
to express how i really feel,
							
what will i look like tomorrow
in some sort of box,
whole en route to a hole
or reduced to ashes 
spread on the ocean 
or in an urn, on a mantel

will i feel disconnected
more so than in life
unable to communicate
unable to be understood
did i make good use of my time
who decides that anyway
						
right now, today, i regret little
i believe every action in life
led me to where i am
right now, today, 
i am mostly satisfied 
but is satisfied enough

would i do my life over 
if i had the chance, 
and if so, would i change anything 
what if i found out
this is as good as it gets
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

Poem

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