Itinere

when i arrived on earth I must have seen the rain through the window it was saturday in the hospital room busy women in white fluttering snowflakes in my made-up memory giving injections measuring pressure stopping bleeding a half-naked and thin man hanging on the wall thorns stuck in the forehead to bleed I didn't see it but I imagined the muddied shoes of a bearded worker man dirtying the ascetic floor of the hallway while crying hallucinated the loss of his wife my mother gave birth to so many children all kind of open mouth birds waiting for worms to get fat fast and become bankrupt executives to perpetuate the saga of the indebted in some years my friends were three they looked clumsy and cartoonish inexperienced characters from a cheap movie they didn't attend my school where I almost had fun without laughing finding out about mosses and lichens the physiology of the human being and the miserable rewards for those who know how to obey I shouldn't have done most of the things I did acting in life like an unhappy sociopath I know this because I always see myself as in a picture the static moments when my gaze was cold I've never really been inside these facts I was that scientist with detailed spreadsheets annotating data for later report they said I was a joker back then it's a lie because I'm still displaced and I never found my ground

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