It wasn't my fault
I don't usually talk about this.
I use poems to vent about my relationship a lot.
But honestly there's a lot going on.
I'm realizing it wasn't all my fault.
I left home at 16 and my parents never really forgave me for leaving them.
But also,
They didn't tell me to come home.
I knew my mum wanted me there,
She still says she feels my absence.
But it felt like my dad didn't want me there anymore.
My dad had done things he shouldn't have done.
He had hurt me far more than he'd ever care to admit.
I realized I had to leave.
They were supposed to protect me.
I left and life just kicked the sh*t out of me from that day forward.
I started the race 100 yards behind all the kids at my school who went home to their families and didn't have to wash their hair in the gas station bathroom.
They weren't sleeping on a bench in a park because it was easier than being with their families.
It wasn't my fault.
It just happened.
I forgive my mother. I try hard to forgive my father.
I know they did their best.
It wasn't good enough for me in the end, and that's just how it is.
But it wasn't my fault.
I wasn't wrong to try to feel safe.
I wasn't wrong to want to live somewhere I felt wanted.
It wasn't my fault.
Ps.
I still miss you guys, even if I couldn't stay. I wish I could see you again.
Copyright © Jess Marlo | Year Posted 2025
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