Home » Poems » Dan Enache » It was always hard to understand you, like a maze without an exit and without meaning

It was always hard to understand you, like a maze without an exit and without meaning

It was always hard to understand you, like a maze without an exit and without meaning,
Your problems always flooded me, a continuous and relentless wave,
Day by day a new challenge, a chaos in which I sank without escape,
In every moment, another mystery enveloped me, an unsolved puzzle.
I tell myself "fake it till you make it," but somewhere I must break the deep silence,
To free my feelings and tell how much you've secretly hurt me,
When I begin to gather courage, a new trick throws me back into darkness,
Into the hell of confusion where I get lost, unable to find the way to light.
Timidly, on the edge of your harsh abyss, I hide frightened by the truth,
When I said I understood you, I lied, for the truth overwhelmed me,
Many times I cried because of you, tears hidden from the eyes of the world,
I try to decipher you, but reality shows me failure after failure mercilessly.
As I grow, you become more complex, like an impossible equation,
I don't know whether to keep you close or to push you away forever,
What a strange dilemma I've caught myself in, trying to understand you in vain,
Without methods that work, just repetitive trials and errors.
Who says you're a long-term friend when you always slip through my fingers,
I wish to keep our connection intact, to put all effort into saving it,
I know you don't care what will become of us, but one of us must care about the future,
I remember the beginning when everything seemed simple and beautiful, but time changed it all.
Now, looking at you, I see only the shadow of what you were, a specter of the lost past,
Wherever I go, your presence haunts me like a dream that never unravels,
I want us to part, to find the freedom to finally be without you,
I don't believe we can endure together, for our future is too dark and cold.
I remember the day it all began, the sky painting skepticism on the horizon,
The sun sent its rays to warm my wandering and lost soul,
I was alone, patiently waiting for the end of a boring day,
But when I saw you, everything changed and my heart gained wings of dream.
Your character pure as a straight-line gradient, your smile an ascending parabola,
Your charm raised questions, if perhaps you are something imaginary and mysterious,
You were surely from another world, and yet I dared to dream without fear,
I tried again and again, hoping to discover your hidden and unknown story.
You felt the same, and I was ready to play this frantic and crazy game,
For a moment I went mad, my heart was on fire and full of desires,
The difficulties grew, but so did the anomalies that constantly distanced us,
I didn't know the end would be a bitter one, but now I understand the truth too late.
I found the courage to let you go, to stop seeking you in the complicated equations of life,
I stopped evaluating, solving, deciphering you in vain attempts,
I haven't searched for value since, for you are just a lost memory,
Now I am at ease with everything, and you are just an illusion.

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