Is This What My Life Is

When I close my eyes I try to understand, all that I will never understand. To see the invisible line that divides. Like the lines that define; Passing and failing, Amateurs and Professionals, Being lost and being found, Knowing who you are, and what you were. I look inwards, deep inside what I am, To understand why it doesn't matter- that much to me. Yet, I realize that it was all- I ever wanted and needed. I look back at all the times that- I never really tried hard enough. And all the times where I did- and it didn't matter anyways. All the times I cried and nobody knew. All the days I woke up wishing I were someone new. And yet still I try, to heal this wound deep inside. To bridge its divide and seam the line. 11/30/15