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Irag

I hate my life My souls are damaged it’s full of pure hell that I can’t take it back it’s like listening to that awful country depression music that you can’t stand and you just want to go beyond insane. Do anybody knows how much I suffer in those goddamn burden battles ? Do any of you lucky non grateful sons of bitches know what I did to get here ? I killed every enemy with my bare hated bloody hands I hated the enemy in Iraq and I don’t regret killing. Saddam Hussein deserved to hang lifelessly. He deserves to be killed but luckily I didn’t slit his throat and hanged him myself but all these terrorist especially Al Qaeda and Bin Laden killed millions and injured millions of victims in New York. I hate these sons of bitches I even hate their kids even slaughtered them with anger. Eventually I was discharged I was injured during the war I got shot in the chest nine times and also a final bullet to the temple that send and knocked me in a coma for ten days. I always thought on May 11 , 2004 that I was going to die and not wake up from my coma. I’m so lucky as of right now when I woke up from the coma . I wasn’t me anymore I was a monster I left my beautiful wife Cassandra I left my kids Seth , Pamela Chloe and Tyrone Jr. heartbroken and then I hit the streets and took and robbed plenty of drugs . What can I say the war changed me it made me worse and worse every struggling day that eventually I heavily overdosed on Crystal Meth and had to go to the hospital. Now I’m here in this goddamn rehab center reminiscing about why in the hell that I hate my useless nasty hopeless fate . I’m a killer always will be . I’m no American hero there’s no happy ending there’s tragic death endings near me. I can’t get my beautiful snow white wife back and for her to understand my pain. I can’t get my life back my kids are nothing to me anymore. I just wished that I could’ve never went to Iraq I should’ve dodged it and rejected it like Muhammad Ali did Vietnam. All day and All night I hear guns in the air pointing at me and three deadly trigger fingers pointing back at the shooter. I hear the bombs boom ! boom ! boom ! I hear the tanks boom boom all freaking day . I hear soldiers screaming while being wounded. I see bullets flying I see blood I see every human corpses blown up into pieces goddamn it what the hell is wrong with me ? Why am I’m in this circle ? I don’t need sympathy I don’t need nobody to say sorry I’m crazy I should kill myself in this circle but I can’t. I want to forget about the war I want to step out of rehab and say I’m better and free from the tragic. I know in everybody’s hearts that you will not give up on me and I won’t give up on you thank you !!! And to my wife Lisa and my kids I’m sorry. Thank you !!!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Book: Reflection on the Important Things