Invisible Ambition

I wish my identity was independent of those I can surround More people need to tear up the madness in me Because I may lose myself within the faceless crowd A warm outlook on your life but inwards I’m frigid Invert this introvert just to see what it may breed Otherwise I’m stuck stumbling ‘round my inner hazy jungle Distant vicinity throws thought through the window Prefrontal cortex malfunctions do not represent my intelligence And my GPA isn’t entirely telling of my character But recognize that my thought patterns are often inconsistent Like the flow of my hair It’s always different My incoherence reflects on my appearance And I’m a zany kid but I’m afraid of it I can easily read body language but I write it in an alien dialect I want to construct my ideal self, for now I’m busy laying countless tracks I’m losing more of this self with each train of thought that departs My heart is aching and I’m waiting for senseless daydreams to pass I wonder what kind of a splash I will make in this world I’m a blooming flower ready for a social butterfly to take me under their wing I thought I would rise this spring but yet again I’m caught pretending I guess spring will come again, oh, never mind, this is my last chance A passing glance never meant a thing to anyone but me