Invisible

Invisible Have you ever felt so empty? With no person that lend a helping hand Have you ever felt so alone? Like no one can see you but your own reflection in the mirror Have you ever felt invisible? That lives in a place of overwhelming silence And the only sound you will hear Is the sound of your own heartbeat Do you ever question yourself Am I Invisible? Am I Invisible? Because people seems so irritated on my own existence They take all the confidence I have And now Im lost and finding home in someone else This feeling of emptiness that is ingrained on my mind and in my soul This feeling of emptiness that creates another identity An identity that prioritize false expectations False expectation that creates depression. Am I Invisible? Or maybe Im not Because people are always there for me When they need something important People always value your presence When they know you have something to give back to compensate for their attention And when they know you cant do something for them They will stab you on your back with those fatal words that hurts your innocent emotion And then I realize I am invisible until someone needs me. Am I Invisible Because I have doubts and hesitation all the time Im becoming hesitant to the love I deserved Im doubting all the love that others offered For it may cause unexpected tears in the end Im still imprisoned on my past experiences And I realize myself that is reminiscing my history Not knowing that love maybe the key To forgive myself and to forget all the mistakes I've done in the past Am I Invisible Because even my parents can't see my worth I've been really tired on exceeding their skyhigh expectations I've been really tired on doing my best that deserves a warm and tight hug from the persons I loved the most I've been really tired of their words that saying I'm not good enough Expectations kill and it really does And I think I deserve a big long rest. Am I Invisible? Or maybe I'm not Because I can still feel the sharpness of the blade I can still feel the blood flows from my wrist down to the depth of my emotions I can still feel the pain But on the other side this pain also adds up to the emotional pain Im feeling right now I don't know but I think it only make things worst And the overall pain manipulates my hand to end all the doubts,hesitation and exhaustion I think this will be the formula to solve my depression Until the pulse stops,The time ends, I hope another day begins All I have to do is close my eyes and promise that I will never go back again.